Janhavi's headshave in temple - A marriage ritual

 Janhavi's headshave in temple -                 A marriage ritual

Hi my name is Janhavi and I will tell you my headshave story. I am 24 years girl who grew up in a middle class family in village in Karnataka. I wanted to be a good house wife from the beginning like my mother. I finished my school, college and degree in my town. I had straight black long hair almost below my waist. I loved my long hair and it was my pride. Most of my friends were jealous of my thick long hair. I never used to cut my hair except when we used to go to temples my mom and I used to get our ends trimmed to make it straight

As I finished my degree my parents wanted to get me married, I too wanted to get married and start my own house. My parents searched for a suitable groom and they got me married. I had to shift to another village where my husband had a house and farm. I was very happy that I got married to a good family and they were all very good to me.

When I shifted to their house my mother in law took good care of me. She used to apply oil to my hair, gave me good massages and braid my hair everyday. She used to praise my long hair and used to say she too had such thick hair when she was young. My husband was very good, he used to work hard and take good care of me. He was very obedient to his parents but at the same time treated me well.

Almost three months after marriage it was during the months of April that is summer time my father in law was speaking about a ritual that they do after bringing a bride into the family. This family tradition had been continued since generations. They had a family God which was a local temple nearby. He told me that we take the newly wed bride to the temple to show our God and we perform certain rituals. I was very happy that they are so devoted and quickly agreed to go next week.

My mother in law took me to a nearby shop go buy a new saree for me. We went shopping and she selected a very good saree and said that I would look very pretty in it. On the day before we went to the temple my mother in law took me to the local market to buy some pooja items and she also bought lots of flowers.We came home tired and she asked if I wanted a head massage and also if I wanted to oil my hair. I was tired so wanted to relax so I agreed and took some oil and sat down for the massage. She applied good amount of oil and started to comb my hair. While she was coming my hair she told me that in their family tradition after 3 months they take the girl to the temple for a ritual. And at the end of the ritual the girl has to completely sacrifice her hair to the God. This tradition is made to protect the family from negative energy, long health of the family and like a rebirth of the girl into the family. 

I was shocked to hear about the ritual because I had to give away my beautiful hair which I had grown from years. I was completely devastated and felt sad. I started crying on the spot and begged her that I do not want to shave my head. She was in tears too, she put her hand on my head and said that I had long hair too when I got married. I had cried when my mother in law told me I had to shave my head. Don't worry it will come back in a few years she said and tried to console me. I could not think about anything other than my head shave the next day. She finished combing my hair and braided it. She put  a few pins to secure my hair and asked me to go and sleep.

I could not sleep the entire night as I was so scared about the next day. I was shivering and begged my husband that I don't want to shave my head. He said he is helpless as its a family tradition and it has to be followed. I was crying the entire night and as I was observing the Sun came up and it was morning.

My mother in law came to wake me up but I hadn't slept at all. She quickly asked me to take head bath and get ready. I unwillingly went to the bathroom and took bath. I felt my hair for the last time as I would not have it for a very long time.

After I came outside she was waiting to get me dressed up. She helped my get into my new saree and then asked me to wear quite a few bangles on both hands. She then dried my hair thoroughly and started to comb it. I was crying because I was very scared of what was about to happen.  She was sad but was only thinking about getting me ready soon. She then combed my long hair and parted my hair in the middle at the front, separating the two sections. She then took a small section from the front and twisted it all the way to the back and clipped it to the side of my hair. She did the same on both sides to make sure my partition stays secure and visible the whole time.  Then she combed the back of my hair and braided it tightly.She brushed the tail end of it and used a few pins to secure it nicely. She then went and brought the flowers garland we had got the previous day and placed it on my braid. She took the length of the white jasmine flower garland and dividend it into four parts and clipped into to the back my hair. She then took the orange flowers garland and secured some in the upper end of my hair. The flowers were just touching my shoulders covering the entire back of my head and neck hanging down from my hair. The clips felt tight as it pulled my hair and the flowers felt heavy too. She got me fully ready like a bride again. 

Everyone in the family were ready too and then she took me to the car and we started our journey. All through the way I could only think about how I will loose my favourite thick black hair.  As I was lost in thoughts we reached the temple. As we got down from the car there were a lot of people. It was a famous local temple and lots of devotees came to get a glimpse of the God. My family knew the priest so went inside the temple. There was a lot of rituals being done but all I could think about was what was going to happen. After about 1 hour, the priest asked my mother in law to take the bride for the shave to complete the ritual. My mother in law came closer took my hand and we started walking out of the temple. All the family members also came along. We reached a place which was separate for head shaving. There was separate place for women to shave their head and they would be shaved my barbettes. 

The time had finally come to sacrifice my hair. My husband went and bought a shaving ticket which contained a number and a blade. My mother in law wanted to get me ready for the shave. We went inside and found our booth. There was a lady in her 50s shaving another lady's head. The barbette was having long hair herself which was neatly oiled and braided with flowers. She asked us to get ready and my mother in law took me to side. My heart froze as she began to take out the clips one by one from my hair. She first took off the clips that was holding the flowers and I felt a little light. She then took the clips from the sides of my hair and now it was time to untie my braid. She reached out to the rubber band below and took it off. She slowly started to unbraid my hair as ir became free. Now she had removed my hair fully open. The hair now fell on my back with waves created due to the tight braids. She then pet me on my head and said don't worry you will get your hair back very soon and be pretty again. Tears started rolling down my eyes. 

By then the lady who was getting her head shaved was fully bald and getting her head cleaned. I was too scared looking at her freshly shaved scalp. As she got up from the seat, my mother in law directed me to sit in front of the barberette facing her. My heart beat started increasing as I she discarded the old razor blade. I looked  her but she had no sympathy as it was her job everyday to shave plenty of women. She then pulled my head towards her and took at mug full of water and poured it on my head. The water started dripping on my face as she poured more and more. She was wetting my hair as it was very thick, she let the water soak my thick hair. Tears were rolling down my eyes but it was mixed with the water that was dripping from my wet hair. After about 5mins of soaking and a short massage she asked my mother in law to separate the hair into two sections. My mother in law came and separated my hair in the middle and made into two sections. She then twisted my long hair and made a knot. She repeated on both the sides as I could feel the heavy hair hang on both the sides. Then the barberette inserted a new blade into her razor and held my head with both hands. She adjusted my head to her angle and asked me to bend down fully. I closed my eyes as I bend down in submission. At that moment I froze and was fully numb unable to sense anything. She placed the razor at the top my head right in the middle where the partition was made and made a gently pulled it towards her. I could feel the scalp getting exposed as a gentle rush of wind swept past. 

It was this moment that I had fully given up and accepted my new look that was about to come. She then placed the razor and shaved some more region as I felt the razor scrapping my scalp. I could hear the sound of my hair getting cut off the root and falling off my head. She turned my head towards the right as she started to shave my left side of the head. As she shaved more and more area, I could feel the cold air in the region that was getting exposed. My heavy hair hanged down near my ears  and I could smell the Jasmine flowers which were in my hair a few minutes ago. As she scrapped the front left side she bent my head down and shaved the back of my head. A large chunk of my hair fell on my lap. I opened my eyes to see my beautiful thick long hair lay on my lap. I was completely bald on the left side. I closed my eyes as she swiftly turned my head towards the left and started shaving the right side of my head. More and more hair falling off my head and hanging near my ears. She bent my head down one last time to complete the shave. In a few minutes I was completely bald. Not a clue of hair on my head. I saw the large chunk of hair fall on my lap and they were quickly taken away by my mother in law. The barberette started to shave again and again to make sure all the regions were properly shaved. I continued to close my eyes and let her complete the shave. After about 5 minutes she stopped and applied some cold water to finish. I could feel the burning sensation of my scalp due to the razor scrapping of the skin. My mother in law paid her a few bucks and signaled me to get up. 

I did not have the strength to get on my feet but I somehow managed to get up. I don't remember how I walked out of that hall but I remember people giving me stares as a young woman was freshly shaved. I had become numb and was not crying anymore. I felt my shaved head with my hands and felt the little roots that had just been cut to it's bottom. There was a place to wash my head and my mother in law took me and poured water to wash the small hair left due to the shave. 

She then got freshly made sandalwood paste and applied it on my head.  It cooled my head and gave me a bit to relief. I tried to cover my head with my saree but my mother in law said I should not cover it. Everyone were looking at my freshly shaved head and my husband was in shock seeing me like this. He did not say anything.

We reached home and it was time for me to look at myself in the mirror. I quickly ran into the room locked myself and looked at the mirror. There was girl innocent pretty yet no hair on her head. I started crying and was feeling my head at the same time.

Its almost six months now and my hair had grown till my ears. I apply oil everyday so that it grows faster. I still look like a boy from behind but I wish my hair grows back fast and I can look as pretty as I was before.

Thank you 

Story by - Nickole Alejandro